As part of training for this world missions trip, we were asked to share a brief story of when God called us to to do something radical. Here is my story...

Meredith Dinsdale opened my eyes to something. We're supposed to write about a radical adventure that we've had. Normally when I think of radical adventures I think of something, well, pretty crazy. I think of people hanging off cliffs and purposively trying to drown themselves in raging river rapids. I don't usually think of going to a party full of drunks and druggies - let alone going to a party of ‘said caliber' and sharing the love of Jesus. If I went to a party like that to be Jesus - "Jesus" would end up punching a lot of people in the face for their stupidity.

Church on the Street, a ministry that I am a part of, meets in a park in downtown Wichita. It's a pretty sweet homeless ministry with a significant number of guys that come each week to stuff their faces of food and gorge themselves on Jesus. One Sunday this past summer we weren't able to meet in our park. Being city property, the park was rented out to a festival - for gay and lesbian pride day.

Truly, I was okay with it. Honestly. It didn't bother me one bit that our church had to move a block away to hold service. It didn't bother me that we cranked up the sound system and boldly proclaimed the word of God. It didn't bother me that homeless guys were wondering why there were gay people in the park. It didn't even bother me that four of us planned on going over there later.

Call me ‘radical'.

Our purposes for going over to the gay pride festival were completely innocent. We didn't plan on doing ministry and we didn't plan on telling people they were going to burn in hell for committing a sin - there are enough people in this world trying to feel good about themselves. The reason we wanted to go over there was to check out this guy's sound equipment. He offered to let us use his services for an event we were planning in August.

Walking across the street to go to the park, we were a little nervous. I have gay friends but I've never been to a massive gathering of them. We decided if anybody wanted to do anything to us, we would just love on them like Jesus. We weren't there to condemn anybody. Christ loved us into being something better we what we were. I thought we should do the same; however, we weren't even to the park yet and we encountered opposition.

"What you're doing is wrong," some guy said to me wearing a burn-in-hell shirt.

I said, "umm… not it's not" because I knew full well checking out a guys sound system while surrounded by human beings was not wrong.

"You should be scared," he said back.

I don't understand why ‘Christians' feel the desire to condemn others (Jn. 3.17). So I raised my fist in the air and said, "Well then - I'm going in!"

As we walked into the gate of the park we were asked to purchase a button. I'm going to safely assume that this lady was a lesbian. I honestly didn't care. We explained our reasoning for being in the park. She was really excited for us and let us in without pay proving to me that it's really not about what you know, but who you know…

Walking in we saw a lot of same-sex couples. Most were holding hands. I didn't see anyone making out or having sex - apparently people think that's all gay people do. We even saw some of our friends. People were really nice. I think it was very clear to those around the four of us that we weren't gay. It might have been because, well, they ‘just know' or it might have been that we were purposively walking through the park girl-guy-girl-guy.

We eventually stumbled across Joel, the soundman, and he showed us his gear. It was very fancy and high-tech. He accepted the job offer we had in place for him and then that was it. We said our goodbyes, wished him luck, and left. Walking out there was a man speaking, sort of like a motivational speaker, and he was encouraging the gay community to keep doing what they're doing, to keep lobbying for bills in congress, and to continue fighting for their rights. I didn't know what to think.

Outside the park we stood on the street corner waiting to cross the street, the entire time being judged by the nice little ‘Christians' sitting there shouting at us. I felt like my home was being prepared in hell - nice cushy pillow and all. They tried handing us a track - you know, the little pieces of paper that tell people about Jesus. They just handed it to us. We refused it and told them they should probably read it.

I couldn't help but think of how nice all of the gay people were to us and how condemning the Christians were. I think if I had gone back, I would have wanted to sit and just ‘be' with the gay people. I honestly felt like throwing rocks at the Christians on the street corner. I didn't ‘feel the love' from them, I only felt hatred.

I guess I still marvel at grace. I've never been gay and truly don't ever want to be. The thing is we're all sinners saved by grace - saved by Jesus. It's not because we deserve it, it's because God loves us. Those people aren't going to hell any more for being ‘gay' than I will for being a liar. But I think there comes a point where we realize the intensity of this Love and it changes us, including our lifestyles. This adventure changed me, changed my perspective, and gave me a renewed ability to love people for who they are, not what they do.

I just hope that I never do throw rocks in the name of love.

International Justice Mission

I want to start highlighting some of these organizations to the left. They do some great work around the globe, including here in the States. Take a closer look at the International Justice Mission...

History of IJM

Founded in 1997, IJM began operations after a group of human rights professionals, lawyers and public officials

launched an extensive study of the injustices witnessed by overseas missionaries and relief and development workers. This study, surveying more than 65 organizations and representing 40,000 overseas workers, uncovered a nearly unanimous awareness of abuses of power by police and other authorities in the communities where they served. Without the resources or expertise to confront the abuse and to bring rescue to the victims, these overseas workers required the assistance of trained public justice professionals

When the poor are hungry, homeless or alienated, the Church has come to their aid by providing food, shelter and missionaries to meet the pressing needs. But when the poor have been oppressed, treated unjustly and suffered under the hand of someone more powerful, little was done on their behalf.

Accordingly, IJM was established to help fill this void, acting as an organization that stands in the gap for victims when they are left without an advocate. IJM staff members (human rights experts, attorneys and law enforcement professionals) receive case referrals from, and work in conjunction with, other non-governmental organizations and casework alliances abroad.

Read more

Adventure?

Apparently Neil Young once said in a movie to a hitchhiker who knew not of his direction, “if you don’t know where you’re going, does it matter how you get there?”

I think that resonates a lot with my life at this stage of it. I have no clue where I am going – literally, and I have no idea where I’m going on this Race either, but truly, I also have no idea of the direction that I want to go in life.

Typically when a person graduates from college they’re supposed to have some kind of idea about what they want to do. I sincerely have none. I know that I want to go on this mission trip; I know that I want to serve God in some fashion or another, but I’m really not too picky. I just don’t want him to place me in a fancy church. I might not love the people there the way that I should.

Maybe that’s why I like church in the park. It’s a lot tamer. I know that sounds crazy – church tame in a park full of drug dealers and prostitutes? Yeah, it’s tame. Another word for tame is ‘broken’. You don’t know what to expect. I think that’s partly what I like about it. We’ve never had a fight break out (yet) but I’ve seen some drug deals go down at church on Sunday. How many people can say that? We got booted out of our park one time because there was going to be a “Gay Pride Festival”. Yep. We shovel the snow off the sidewalks in the winter. We stand outside in the rain. Most other churches these days get into fights when there’s juice spilled on the carpet. It would be much more entertaining to see blood on the carpet from a fistfight. Then I would probably go visit that church with a bag of popcorn. The pastor obviously delivers powerful sermons.

I don’t know though. Most days I think I know what I want to do but I don’t. I tell myself that I want to be a missionary. In all honesty, I really do. I want to work with kids. I want to work in an urban setting. Urban missionary work – that would be sweet. I don’t know if that’s what God has planned for me though. Maybe He wants me to be the next president of the – okay, just kidding...

My friend in the Peace Corp said that while working for them, you begin to learn how to take living just one day at a time, hour-by-hour, minute by minute. I’m starting to embrace that philosophy on life. God reveals such tiny portions of where He wants me, but never when I want to know it – only when I need to. Does it get frustrating? Heck yes it does. But does it matter? No.

That’s part of the adventure. If I knew where I was going to end up at the end of my life I would probably not like it, but it’s because I would miss out on the life in between. Maybe there’s a reason I end up there. Who knows? Only God Almighty does and I’m okay with that most days. Other days I want to be God, but after dwelling on the responsibility that job description entails, I embrace my humanness and decide it’s best to take orders from Him.

The World Race is no different. Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going yet. But that’s part of the adventure. I didn’t sign up to travel the world on a vacation. I signed up to wreck my life in the name of Jesus, for the name of Jesus, to see the Kingdom of God manifested in some pretty radical ways.

I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t give a rat’s ass about how I get there. Just bring on the adventure.

A lot of you have been asking me the infamous question of 'where are you going on your trip?' Well... I still don't know. But below is an example of what the World Race itinerary could look like. If I remember correctly, this is the route for January '07, which mine could look incredibly similar *coughhintcough*. You check this out and read these stories. They're good. I've read all of them. And if you really like what you read, you should consider living vicariously through me and supporting me on my trip. Just click the 'Support Me!' link. :) There is something stirring in the hearts of young people today - a holy unrest, a small voice that whispers, "You were meant for more." The World Race takes people on a journey in search of God's heart. Below are some stops on that trek. The itinerary changes every year, but here's a sample:

Mexico

So, rewind back to Mexico. By the end of our stay in Arroya Palenque, the locals had let go of their watertower suspicions of us and had really started to show us their beautiful golden smiles. They finally warmed up; I loved it. It was priceless. Read more at Reminiscing Mexico over greasy chicken in Antigua

Guatemala

Today I added one more thing to my growing list of once in a lifetime experiences. I got to climb an active volcano! It was absolutely amazing! Read more at Lovin' Guatemala!!

Nicaragua

While we were finishing up our last week in Mexico, we were told about the potential ministry sites in Nicaragua. There were three possibilities - one of them being dump ministry. My home for the month is among the people who live in the barrios surrounding the dump. He is drawing me to the "poorest of the poor", the "outcasts of the outcasts," the "nobodies among the nobodies," the "forgotten among the forgotten." Read more at Down in the Dumps

Costa Rica

As we were saying goodbyes, a flood of memories came back to me of all the great things that happened here in Costa Rica… I mean just look at this picture. Does that look like the heart of a lonely old man dying inside anymore? Christ gave him back his life! And now he is living it to the full. Read more at pura vida

Argentina

I really loved the feeling of the people and the culture of the city of Buenos Aires. I went to my first soccer/futbol match and loved it. So far it wins the award for my favorite city of the World Race. Read more at Boca es mi passion

Peru

Hey everybody! We all arrived really early this morning in Lima, Peru. We got off the bus after mucho hours of travel and there were a ton of people from the church waiting to welcome us and give us giant hugs. It was so precious. I was super tired but felt touched by the love of the people. Read more at I'm in Peru!

South Africa

Our last night in Africa was spent enjoying the native flora and fauna of the land. Our kruger Safari a few weeks ago satisfied our appetite for watching the lions sleep, hearing the baboons howl, smelling the elephant dung and even touching baby snakes... Read more at "Chow Down" - Adios Africa!

Mozambique

The time we have spent in Africa has been amazing. God is so good, and I am so thankful for this adventure he is taking me on… I think we all know that Africa is in need, but to come here and see it makes me want to do all I can to help them. I want to encourage the body of Christ to come to Africa or to look at Africa and ask God what you can do. I want to encourage the body of Christ to come to Africa or to look at Africa and ask God what you can do. Read more at Consuming Fire in Mozambique

Swaziland

Here we were 3 women in the middle of the bush in Swaziland, in a place that has hardly seen foreign missionaries, showing them that God sees them and knows them and loves them... And people asked for prayer for happiness, for people in their family to stop dying, for healing for family members dying of AIDS, for children that had run away, for their babies to stop being sick, for children that were psychotic, the list continues. Read more at In the land of Swazi

Botswana

We arrived in Maun, Botswana last week. Yes...it is right in the middle of the desert. This is actually the Africa I was waiting to experience. Even desiring this experience, I am getting a glimpse into why the Israelites were so frustrated with wandering around the desert for 40 years. Read more at Life In The Desert

Thailand

I have not been able to sleep much since we have arrived in Thailand. It is right here. My mind and heart has been caught up with ‘the girls'. It is happening all around you. I can hear their cries in my spirit. Look around and see it. The oppressive spirit is sinking into my bones. Though not outwardly visible, it is here. Do not be tricked. My being cannot rest... Read more at Bangkok

China

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. That was my exact prayer today because the desires of my heart were for the Lord to touch this little boys life in ways that he couldn't comprehend. I had just come from the internet and decided to chat with Sarah outside our room when the head monk asked us if we would like to join him for a ritual. We were a little perplexed but gladly agreed. Read more at From Boy to Monk

Are you interested? Click here for a quick app!

I Turned Down Jesus

There are a lot of days that I eat my own words, that what I write and what I say comes back to haunt me. I talk about living lives of love, about being Jesus’ hands and feet to the world around me, basically I paint myself and some others as ‘super-christians’ that purposively proclaim our brokenness in an attempt to make ourselves appear more holy than what we really are. We serve the poor, crawl in the ditches, sell what we own, and will go anywhere and do anything for Jesus.

But I don’t.

I am full of some really good stories and they’re all true – don’t get me wrong. Unfortunately I think they’re stories that shed light on a more positive side of my existence. I want to be honest with all of you about myself. There are plenty of days that I don’t give up my coat. I turn the other direction and run. I choose disobedience to what God is calling me to do instead of embracing the love that has wrecked my life – love I shouldn’t resist others.

Long story short: I turned down Jesus. This happened the evening after I posted a blog calling out lazy Christians. I subconsciously lived out my fear of becoming what I’m most afraid of.

A friend and I pulled into a parking lot in downtown Wichita. As we were pulling in I noticed a homeless guy walking around the parking lot. I told her, “I bet this guy is going to harass us for money.” I seriously couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth, but they expressed the true condition of my heart. We parked and the homeless man walked over to my side of the car and started talking to me before I even opened the door. I didn’t feel like loving anybody.

As I stepped out of the car he threw his arms around me and said, “give me a hug in the name of Jesus!” I gave him a hug. Honestly looking back on this I can say it’s the most sincere hug I’ve ever received from a stranger. I thought he would grope me and try to feel my pockets for money, but he didn’t. He let go and explained to me that he needed some money for a place to stay. The whole time he was explaining his condition, I was trying to figure out what he was strung out on – it was obviously something.

I told him that I didn’t have cash – a blatant lie. I had $15 in my back pocket and three cents in my front pocket. I always tell guys when I have money, I just tell them, “I don’t give out cash.” I’ll buy them what they need. He pleaded with me for money, to stop by an ATM. My heart grew cold. I thrusted the 3 cents into his hand and started naming off shelters. I worked at a homeless shelter and have homeless friends – I knew all the spots in town. I grew bitter. I got really frustrated with him and sent him to the Salvation Army. It was only a few blocks away.

Normally, I would have walked with this guy but I chose not to. I would have walked around with him until he found a place but I chose not to. I truly believe I turned down Jesus. And why did I not do this? Honestly – I was tired. I had a bad day. I didn’t feel like ‘working’ for love. It would’ve taken everything I had in me. No thank you Jesus.

Then he disappeared into the night air. This guy – maybe an angel – went away without shelter, without money for food, without Jesus having held his hand. I just gave him a hug and resented every minute of it.

I only write this to prove one thing: I’m not who you probably think I am. I still have a lot of growing to do. I have a lot of learning left in life. I’m not a superhero or an amazing Jesus-lover. I’m just like you. I’m broken. I’m fallen. I fail everyday. But it makes me think of this, “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Heb. 12.11).

Failure stinks and reeks a horrible odor, but only if we let it. We choose what we gain from our mistakes. Mine sucks because, well, I turned down a man who I haven’t seen since. The Jesus screaming for some love from this man – I told him to ‘get’. How lame.

This I Believe - Grace

We were asked to write an essay called "This I Believe" about what really matters to us, as preparation for this world missions adventure called the World Race. This is what I believe...

I was sitting there minding my own business, reading my Bible, journaling, and trying to radiate what appeared to be holiness. I have come to realize that coffee shops are probably the worst place to try to create an image of yourself that you're not. The people that hang out at these places are so real and broken that they can see past the masks. And sometimes I think they grasp parts of living that are still foreign to me - that I'm still trying to understand myself.

There's this guy that frequents the coffee shop I constantly choose to perch myself ‘righteously' inside. He looks rather poor and less fortunate than myself. He is also very eccentric and has an animated personality. This man always carries his guitar around and when he sits at the community computer to get on the internet, he hunches over the keyboard in a way that's almost like he's guarding it, like someone's going to snatch the only possession he has away from him. I usually just stare at him and judge - but only when I'm feeling righteous.

It was interesting to watch him today though. He walked in, set his stuff down, and went up to the counter to order what I assumed would inevitably be ‘just a coffee'. Then the unexpected happened. The two baristas working said, "Morning! We have a surprise for you today."

"Oh?" he inquired.

"Yep. Here you go, enjoy!" They handed him one of the coffee shops' fanciest mugs brimming full of coffee, but with just enough room that he could doctor it up - apparently he doesn't like it black. The girls showed him how it worked, what all the fancy caps were for and such. He couldn't contain himself. This guy was so excited!

The horrible thing? I didn't expect this from these two girls. I would have expected Norah Jones to sing me to sleep before these girls just gave something away. They're very gossipy. They talk about customers - about things they don't like. They've never indicated to me that they love Jesus.

But they blind-sided this guy with grace.

Not only did they blind-side him, they knocked me off my feet. Those two girls gave that guy something he didn't deserve. They showed him love when he had never shown it to them. Why would they do that? Because they've received the same love before from someone else - and they wanted to share it with him.

It made me realize the good that resides in us all regardless of who we are. It made me realize what I'm capable of and the grace and love that is so much larger than what I can imagine. It transcends even my most selfish motives and thoughts - my self-ascribed ‘righteousness'. My friend Brenna says it best, "the amazing thing about grace is its comparison to the sky. Completely vast and seemingly tangible but when it is reached for we're somehow surprised that it is too big. And so we stand under it and marvel at all the ways it chooses to inspire us."

This I Believe.

Change of Place

I figured I should probably make a post that beginning on Monday my web address for this blog is going to change. It will no longer be 'prayerguy23.blogspot.com'. It will be...

matthewsnyder.blogspot.com

I realize a lot of people are probably saddened by this, but take heart! Jesus has overcome the world!

**mad props to Joshua Luper for snapping this photo using my super-sweet camera...

For the Love of God...

This is kind of like an open letter to a lot of Christians out there who will be offended by reading this. If you're not offended, this wasn't meant for you. If you stand up and shout "AMEN!" then I congratulate you. Stop shouting and go love on somebody. If you read this and your initial reaction is "I HATE YOU MATT SNYDER" and you then attempt to email me a letter explaining all your frustrations with this post, I will read it. I will listen to you. And then I will do my best to love you in a way that might usher you into the arms of Jesus... and then I'll stick all my other loving friends on you and leave you without option to be loved by God. You'll be so overwhelmed you won't know what you hit you. It will be like... like... well, just read...

There are things that are a lot bigger than me. Bigger than my imagination. Bigger than my heart or the courage that it takes to muster up the strength to stand. And I'm not ever sure what those things are. They're beyond me. They're beyond what I can dream or what I even desire to dream. It's these things that captivate my attention, that imprison my thoughts and steal moments from my days - chances at life from my life, itself.

I can't help but think about the love of God. It's beyond me. It's bigger than me, than my imagination. Thank goodness that it's bigger than my own heart. I just read a book a few hours ago that attempted to break apart the love of God into understandable chunks. They were very uneven chunks, yet I didn't even realize that the love of God was so easy to compartmentalize. If I had known that I would have written about it years ago in attempt to work off my unnecessary college loan. I would have been top of my class. I could have taught classes for that matter. My wisdom would have easily outweighed my professors'. They probably would have wanted to take me out for coffee or buy me dinner. Shoot, I could have signed autographs.

Too bad that didn't happen. But it's probably a good thing because I already wrestle enough with pride - in thinking that I'm better than you.

I'll quote this guy, "Today most people seem to have little difficulty believing in the love of God; they have far more difficulty believing in the justice of God, the wrath of God, and the noncontradictory truthfulness of an omniscent God." And he asks, "How is God's love tied to God's justice?" He basically explores, although not too much, as to why there seems to be a chasm between God's love and God's justice. He briefly mentions that some people don't believe in the love of God because of the lack of God's justice in the world (my very loose paraphrase of what he says in a lot of words). Hm. I wonder why this could be?

Could it be because of lazy Christians?

It enrages me the amount of "Christians" who go around proclaiming the love of God while they continuously walk by those that need to experience God's love the most. The moment that the love of God demands something from them, they choose to create a doctrine or new theology around why they don't act, why they can't find it in themselves to move at the impulse of love. And really all they're doing is creating a bunch of excuses.

It breaks my heart that I know a lot of these said "Christians". Maybe it's that my patience has run out with putting up with their nonsense 'love' or maybe it's that I'm pointing fingers in order to mask a fear that I have of becoming what I hate the most. D.A. Carson says, "Christian faithfulness entails our responsibility to grow in our grasp of what it means to confess that God is love." And yes, I think it's important that we understand God's love, however, I don't think it's something that we, as humans, have the ability to 'grasp' objectively.

I would have never understood God's love if I had never experienced it. I would never have experienced it had someone not been willing to become a vessel of God's love, to become His hands and feet, Love that I could touch and feel - that I could put a face to. And that person wouldn't have been able to do that had they not been obedient to Love, Itself.

I think people are afraid to admit that God might actually use them to show His love to another fellow human being. Why afraid? Because it actually asks something of us. It calls us out of our selfishness, out of our own little bubbles, and into something bigger and greater that God is doing. It's beyond us, beyond what we can imagine or even begin to fathom. Because it's Life calling our life. It's Love pleading for love.

There's a reason God asks us to love others. Why don't we? Might it actually change not only someone else's life, but ours as well? Might it actually usher God's justice into the world's vision? The possibility of God's love is endless. It creates. It sustains. It transforms.

So for Jesus' sake, be obedient to Love for the purpose to love... and stop creating excuses. It's really beginning to piss me and all the other people who desire to experience God's love off.

**And I should mention that I have nothing against D.A. Carson. I love the guy. He's brilliant. Go read his stuff. I just think it's too easy for us to limit not only our faith, but God's love to the pages of a book (that includes the Bible). There comes a point where we're called to take the stuff off of paper and implement it into our lives, folks. The love of God wasn't something that was just meant to be stared at on a dead tree (no pun intended...)

Slap God in the Face!

ask me how.

don't worry, there's more to come...