I really wish that I could become a good writer. That I could become one of those people whose life becomes legendary merely because of the artistic ability that they have when putting words down on paper. But sometimes I realize that this is only a dream of mine. It may not be something that God has willed for me in my life. It’s probably only something that I want and have willed for myself. I was journaling about this last night though and had a random thought pop up.

Maybe writing isn’t a gift. Maybe writing isn’t an ability that God has given me to use like music, preaching, or drawing cool pictures underfoot with sidewalk chalk. I think writing, creativity in general, is something that everyone in all of humanity has been given. We’re made in God’s likeness. God’s creative. He even has a sense of humor. Don’t believe me? Look in the mirror. Honestly though, I think that we all have been created with a raw talent. It’s just like playing an instrument though. It takes practice to get better and better. Or stretching. I can’t do the splits if I don’t start stretching everyday. It’s going to be impossible. And although doing the splits is one of my life goals, I’m not going to achieve it until I hit the floor and start stretching to get there.

I think writing is the same way. It’s something that I’m going to have to practice before I’ll be any good at it. Not only will I have to start writing everyday, but I’m going to have to read more and more. It think that learning to write might be a lot like learning jazz improvisation. In order to get a lot better at jazz improvisation, I need to listen to it. I need to hit the record store or all of the illegal online databases and take pleasure in all of those classics dripping with imagination. Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Dave Holland, etc. Then I need to mimic them. I can’t do what they’re doing with their instruments if I don’t try to do the exact same thing. After I master their technique, I make it my own. That’s how I add my creativity, my life, my horror and my imagination to something great. That’s how I make something great even greater.

So maybe I just need to grab some Charles Dickens, Anne Lammott, St. Augustine, or another author I revere and burn their brilliant thoughts into the back of my mind. Once I’ve seared the image that their words manifest themselves into in my head, maybe then I can add what I want to make their words even hotter. Maybe I’m the one that’s going to manipulate what they say to a new degree, to the degree that it’s not only going to leave a mark on the mind, but on the heart. I just need to practice.

So that’s what this attempt is. It’s an attempt at writing. I’m attempting to write everyday for at least a little while in order to try and perfect what I want to say. In order to practice getting my thoughts out on paper. This is obviously a little different than the way that I journal. My journal’s are more personal, private, and between just me and God. Sometimes I wish God couldn’t even read what I write in there, but part of me deep down inside is really glad that he can. I want Jesus to be a part of my entire life, the good and the bad. Unfortunately, sometimes the bad outweighs the good. I’m just like that.