Five or less

Today's been one of those days that I've finally realized, despite my own deception, that I have no social life. I don't. I can narrow down my posse to a list of five people or less. Strangely enough, I take a lot of pride in saying that.

I know, I know. It's easy to assume from this finding that I'm a depressed and lonely soul. Depressed, no. Lonely, in some ways. But really. I pride myself in saying that I don't have a lot of friends that I hang out with all the time. I know people who can kick-it with 20 people at once and have a deep and personal relationship with every single person within a 10 mile radius. I'm not one of those people. I thrive off of being around a butt-ton of people (as long as they're not smelly athletes), but I don't always care to get to know them all in a deeply intimate way.

I like my gang of five or less. In fact, I'm comfortable with my five or less. Any more of them and I wouldn't be able to keep up with them all. I would only be able to offer them a shallow friendship. But with my five or less, I can put into each of them while in a group OR one-on-one. I love every single one of my five or less. And when none of them are available to be around, I realize how important it is to spend some time with myself. Time alone with God.

I think that it's safe to say that God's one of my five or less. Fortunately, he's always around to sit with me, to watch the fireflies and marvel at the silences of nature. Sometimes there's beauty in silence. Not just with God, but with other friends too. My five or less and I sometimes don't talk. We'll just sit and read together. There's conversation there. And sometimes it's hard when I feel like God never really talks to me. The fact that I can count on one hand the amount of times I've heard him speak should serve as a discouragement. But to me, it's just a reminder that God's also in the little things, the fireflies and the silences of nature.