proving faith?

I want to serve God more passionately than what I already do. I've noticed that the more I serve in one area, the deeper I must go inside of it. Take what happened at church for example.

I was able to talk with Grant* today. The thing to remember about Grant - despite the fact that he's 'crazy' - is that he's a faithful member of Church on the Street and he's Muslim. He says he doesn't come because he's homeless - he's not. He doesn't come for the free meal - though admittedly it's good. And he doesn't come out of boredom. No, Grant comes because of the people there, because of the environment. It's something he's never encountered before. (The bad part is that this paragraph does no justice in describing anything about this guy.)

Regardless, we were able to have a deep conversation about our religions. It was in that moment that I realized how scared I am of deep theological conversations with nonbelievers. I'll sit down and hammer things out with other believers because we all believe the other person is wrong anyway. But with nonbelievers it's different. It's almost because I feel there's something on the line, not just their salvation... but my dignity. Like if I can't answer every question then I look like a complete fool - and not just me, but my whole belief system.

Maybe I know my problem.

I was really challenged by Church on the Street for the longest time because just stepping out and talking to complete strangers was hard enough for me. Now I'm being challenged to go deeper with them than just surface level. And maybe I'm afraid of leading them down the wrong path or worst yet, I'm afraid of being wrong.

But all this is probably because I'm approaching these conversations the wrong way in the first place. I don't need to prove anything about my faith that I already know is true. If I do, then it's because I don't already believe it myself. I need to stop looking at these people, such as Grant, as someone that I need to prove my faith to or that I get to save. These are people searching for the truth and I get the opportunity to guide them towards that - towards Jesus (the one who REALLY does the saving).

Truly, until I do this, I doubt that I will personally see someone come to Christ (yes, I'll admit that in the last 4+ years I've spent in ministry, I've never led anyone to Christ). I need to get over myself, my fears, and embrace all of what I know to be true and let it change me because at this point, I have nothing to prove.

*names have been changed