Safari Morning

Life finds its way of catching up with us.  It’s when we truly realize what Life and Living is that the subtle moments of the day take on a whole new meaning and spring up on us in surprise.  I won’t ever forget the one morning that I was going on a morning prayer-walk during debrief in Nisela, Swaziland.  The sun was still working its way over the horizon and light was still at work heralding in the day.  To my left several impala were peacefully grazing in the grass next to the road, though hawkishly aware of every move I was making.  To my right, ran the fence that kept me safe from the pride of the safari: Lucky the Lion.  And as I traversed the dirt road in prayer, I looked ahead and noticed a young giraffe only 20 feet ahead of me on the edge of the road.  He was just standing there watching me walk.

I kept walking forward as he stood there, chewing cud, and flicking his tail.  As soon as I got no closer than a stone’s toss from him, he tore into the bush, and ended up on the edge of the road about another 20 feet ahead.  And as soon as I got a another stones toss from the guy, he took off through the bush and once again, ended up another 20 feet ahead of me. 

He was playing with me... longing for me to continue the chase.

And it’s in moments like those that I realize God exists.  It’s moments like those that I’m reminded of how God first chases us and then we chase Him.  See – He’s always up the road guiding and leading us, waiting anxiously for us to decrease the distance between Him and ourselves… but as we get ever closer, He yearns for us to keep chasing Him. 

One day we’ll catch up… and return the favor.

 

A Day of Clouds

I’m finding that the tragedy of losing innocence is one of the greatest things.  Some might even say that the obstacle of losing ignorance is equal to such.  I would argue.  I think that innocence in many ways is far more valuable than ignorance, but I’m learning that ignorance is quite the comforting thing I oftentimes seek.

I’m learning that once I’ve walked in the realities that truly face us in any given day that we can’t plead ignorance anymore, and not for the sake of trying to avoid looking like an idiot to others, but for the sake of sparing ourselves some kind of humiliation.  I mean this in the fairest of forms and oftentimes I’m struck at the Truth that I wake up to everyday.  I want to deny it on days such as this, days where the sky is blanketed with a grey that overwhelms me in a way that’s unwelcoming.

I want to find shelter but it’s as if none exists around here.  Where’s the shadow and sanctuary of God’s wing from the storms that plague us through life?  I’m learning that the thorn in my flesh is a lot closer to my heart than I originally thought.  I’m learning what a rude awakening is that grips my spirit every morning as I try to pull myself out of bed and squeeze words out from between my lips in battle. 

And why’s sorrow so easy to express yet joy escapes the form of words?  I can’t get it off my chest when it’s not there, but when it’s there I can find words for the agony and even when I release – the blanket remains.

I hate feeling wet.

Surely there’s a sun beyond the horizon, a sun that pleads with my own spirit to the God of God’s for some kind of relief to the cloudiness that this day’s producing.

I hate feeling alone.